I can see it now. Headlines splash across your evening news:
“Mom ticketed for speeding, indecent exposure while pumping on the highway”
And breastfeeding moms everywhere nod in solidarity.
It may be unsafe. Illegal, perhaps? But efficient. Oh so highly efficient. Isn’t it the ultimate Mom-so-hard move to multitask the shit out of your life? If you’re a finely tuned pumping machine and want to make good use of your commute time or otherwise, here’s a whole new level of crazy you can aspire towards!
I’m going to be straight up here: I pump in my car on the highway. On the way to daycare pickup. That’s right. I set up pump shop in the parking lot, hit Start, and drive merrily down the interstate while pumping a at least a meal’s worth of milk. I unhook when I get to daycare. And I feel like a highly efficient badass for it.
Here’s what you need:
*A somewhat private commute (I assume the bus or subway is not a great place to pump, but feel free to prove me wrong!)
*A nursing cover
*A hands free bra
*A car adapter for your pump or a pump such as the Medela Freestyle or Freemie
*Wipes, cooler, bottles, etc depending on where you’re going after your commute
Here’s what I do:
- Leave work, head to the parking lot and scope things out aka make sure no one is in either car next to me.
- Zip on hands free bra, shimmy it up my torso and over my 90210 breasts, move or unhook regular bra
- Put on nursing cover
- Position pump parts and press start
- Triple check that everything is positioned properly cuz #spills on the work clothes is not a good look
- Turn car on, carefully back out (turning steering wheel while moo-cow pumping takes extra caution), and happily making my way down the interstate, pump buzzing and nipples tingling all the way.
- When I come to a safe stopping point, usually the daycare parking lot, I give a quick check around to make sure no one is looking, unhook everything, cap the bottles, and toss them in my cooler.
Ta-da! Midly distracting yet highly efficient!
I highly recommend a lot of practice with your pump before engaging in such risky behavior. But once you’ve got it down, enjoy an extra 15 minutes of your life back each day!