It’s A…..BABY!

Gender Reveals! Balloons! Confetti! Mustaches! Tu-Tus! ALL the glitter! Gender reveal parties are so vogue right now. They’re fun, and cute, and make for some great photo ops. However, there is another, less popular option: not finding out the gender of your baby until D(elivery) Day. Hear me out on this one…

When I found out I was pregnant, I was pretty sure that I didn’t want to find out the gender, and my husband didn’t have strong feelings either way, so he went along with the plan. I figured if I ever changed my mind, I could request an ultrasound or bloodwork. But the further along we were into pregnancy, the more certain I became that I wanted to hold out. It was a great decision for us, and I absolutely plan on doing it again.

Yes, you have to pick out two names. And perhaps you’ll give up being able to mentally prepare for a certain gender. And you can’t buy cute gendered clothing, especially for upcoming holidays or family photos. But besides that? So many wonderful reasons to consider waiting.

  1. The thought of finding out the gender via an ultrasound machine seemed so…impersonal, or sterile. It seemed like a violation of my baby’s privacy. I fully plan on violating my teenager’s privacy on the daily by going through every single app on her phone every single day. But in utero? Just didn’t feel right to me.
  2. Your baby shower gifts will be SO much more practical. Your generous gift-givers will be more likely to give gifts from your registry and steer clear of adorable football jerseys or sparkly headbands. They may be reluctant to stick to the registry to buy grey everything, but you’re almost guaranteed to get what you want and not that onesie Auntie Karen thinks will be JUST adorable for summer.
  3. Along the same lines, your baby gear will work for future children. Not that there’s anything wrong with a boy snuggling up to a pink blankie, but gender neutral items will get you more mileage for potential future offspring. Savin’ space AND cash money.
  4. The funny thing about finding out the gender of your baby is that by the time you find out the gender of your baby, there’s nothing you can do to change it. Not a damn thing.
  5. Along those same lines, not knowing the gender of your baby allows you to live in the moment rather than plan and imagine a specific future. Just enjoy the journey to parenthood!
  6. It will potentially drive your parents, in laws, and close friends absolutely bonkers. Totally worth it all by itself.
    1. As a subset to #6, getting to announce the gender AND name for anxiously waiting family is even more fun!
  7. Whether you’ve been dreaming of a little brother, or hoping for a baby girl, when that slimey, squishy baby is first placed in your arms, you won’t be disappointed. Exhausted, ecstatic, and in love, but definitely not disappointed.
  8. If you, like many first time moms, have to endure a long, tortuous labor, not knowing the gender may provide you with a little extra oomph to get that baby OUTTA YOUR VAG. Or maybe that was just me?
  9. Getting deep here, for a minute. Not knowing the gender of your unborn removes, or at least delays the chances for stereotypes and societal pressure. Boys and girls alike will face a lifetime of pressure to act, look, and perform a certain way. Just check out the nursery decor section of any baby store and you’ll see ballerinas, pink, and prints saying that little girls are “nice” and “precious,” and you’ll find footballs, trucks, and inspirational prints telling little boys to be “brave” and “adventurous.” Clothing states that baby boy is handsome, while the little ladies are sweet. What if your son decides to join show choir, or your little girl falls in love with dinosaurs? In-utero seems like the last sanctuary for gendered stereotypical societal pressures.
  10. Lastly, there are very few true, happy surprises in life. Delayed gratification is so much more…gratifying!

You and your baby have a lifetime to get to know one another – waiting an extra few months to find out the gender will only allow you to spend more time planning for what really matters: a happy, healthy baby.


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